Wednesday morning. I just got to work. Rode this morning with Dave and Dan. A new trail [at least to me] that is a ton of climbing…it is super hard. I know, stop being a baby right? Anyway, iced my elbow, which has really been giving me fits lately and now am ready to dive in at work. Then I get my weekly reminder email from Jessica to blog.
By the way Jessica, how are the boys? Pray for her boys. The both have pneumonia and ear infections…Oh my! Yet, she still finds time to do social media stuff for the movie and send me blog reminders, etc…she is one of the people who consistently helps make things happen…Thanks Jess.
Normally, I look forward to this and would have been jotting down bullet points all week…reminders of what I want to discuss with you guys…then just like that, I remember that I wanted to email Brent, Steven, Allan and Abe to see where we are with the film test footage. I am anxious to see what we shot…
Now back to the blog issue…so anyway, time I have not been making notes or bullet points or even thinking about what I want to discuss.
This blog is different…I am spent. I am tired, frustrated, irritated and borderline angry that we still have not made this film. “God’s timing is perfect”, I keep telling myself…and internally, I wonder if we are wasting God’s time! Maybe he wanted us to shoot way back in September and it is US running into a door he keeps opening…too silly to aim straight and walk inside. Not very logical probably, but nonetheless my thoughts…my inner dialogue. This process is wearing on me. I am a film writer and director. I don’t “wait” well. The film permit has yet to come through!!?? Seriously!!!! This was supposed to be a three week process that is now in it’s fifth month…yes, I said FIFTH month!! Are you kidding me!?
So, what do I say? Do I say all is well and we are hanging out or am I honest with you guys and say this process is at times insane, infuriating and annoying? Making a movie is not a pleasant experience. I have heard filmmakers speak about this for years on end…now I get it! It is sort of like when I used to work with exotic cats [leopards, tigers etc] and had always heard people say that cat – fill in the blank – is as “fast as lightening.” Huh? What does that mean? It sounds pretty cool but truly how fast is lightening? How can they measure how fast it is? Who measures it? Anyway, I never understood what that phrase meant until the day I was walking my spotted leopard…I jump him up on his box and back away across the 20-foot enclosure. I never took my eyes off of him and I NEVER saw him leave his box. The next thing I know, he is running up my body…mouth open. In that moment, I understood what that phrase meant. This is similar….NOW I get it!!
So what do I write about and what do we do from here? I, as always, tell you guys my heart and we continue to pray and trust God…leaning on the fact that He makes all things work together for good.
I am ready to go. The fun part of making a movie is being on set. That is where it gets nuts. The creative energy of a good crew working on a project they believe in and embrace…is like nothing I have ever found anywhere else.
When everyone is clicking and the work is solid…that is the fun part. The waiting, the budget, the arguments, the negotiating contracts and then re-negotiating contracts and the “misunderstanding” are the frustrating part. Right now the frustrating part is way ahead of the creative fun part – probably by a margin of 85% annoying/frustrating to 15% creative fun. I am confident that will change once we get our permit!
I did speak to the guy who might be providing some of the clothes for us. His name is Danny and he is a great guy. Check out his clothing line: here Cool stuff and he has agreed to outfit the guys if we can find stuff that works. Very cool of him.
We did a re-write for the Indian government of the script as agreed upon. That went pretty quickly…well, about 5 to 6 hours of straight writing. Not too awful. Now we wait. Do you guys get tired of hearing about all of the waiting? I get tired of writing about all the waiting. Sorry this is so short, but like I said, right now there is not much happening except that we are waiting on the permit. There is that word again. Maybe we should call the movie “Waiting for Not Today” or to make it more Indy film cool “The Waiting for Not Today.” Yes, just adding the word THE makes all the difference.
You guys are amazing for staying with us, for showing up at the prayer meetings and for continually supporting and praying for the project. For that I am grateful. Thanks again.
Until next week…when hopefully I will actually have some news to report…Have a great week and keep praying for the project and if you could be so kind as to slip the crew, the cast, Brent and me into your prayer time that would be awesome. I will leave you with this: God is driving. He always has been. Even in the face of serious doubt, anger, reservations, bad judgment and all sorts of other distractions. God is guiding this project and at the end of the day…we refuse to have it any other way. Like we could if we wanted to! This is God’s idea, His story, His plan, His timing, His script, His crew, His cast….He chose them.
He has graciously steered me clear of my own invention and my own desire and my own ego probably…knowing that at the end of the day the only thing any of us will be able to say is that God made this project happen. I can see that now. If I look hard enough at the past almost year and a half, I can see Him protecting me and my family…and some things still make me mad and make no sense. But I trust Him and move forward.
He will get the glory because HE made it happen…the way He wanted it to Happen… Period. Of that, I am certain.